Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
