North Korea, Best Korea!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
