why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
