No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize