yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
