Moan for me like Helen Keller
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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