We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
