Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
