Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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