did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
