ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
