Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry skutch2 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(651): View more from Minnesota

I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.

Fav 10 3918 1283
share tweet
(910): View more from North Carolina

I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.

Fav 6 2962 1004
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?

Fav 42 3103 1265
share tweet
(+04): View more from

She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.

Fav 7 1372 1143
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"

(1-512): View more from Texas

Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.

Fav 11 1228 1797
share tweet
(316): View more from Kansas

At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment

Fav 4 1623 748
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out

Fav 6 672 1051
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again

Fav 3 60 23
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(828): View more from North Carolina

But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.

Fav 0 13 35
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT