i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
