The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
foreskin is a definite game changer
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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