Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize