yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
