I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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