I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
