my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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