We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize