I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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