I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
