just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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