You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Drake has all the answers
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
