mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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