just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Green mimosas i think yes
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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