Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
