She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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