I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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