dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
