I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
