No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize