Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
