the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
a search helicopter?!
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
