Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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