Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
