there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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