the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
