you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
