I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
