Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
