I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
