he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
