I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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