He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
