sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I licked your asshole in confidence.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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