Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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