you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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