He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I can text with my tongue
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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