Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
