i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
