Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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