I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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