Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
