Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
