Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
