Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
