i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he fucked my hip out of place.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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