His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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