He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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