I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize