Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
