I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
