i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
