he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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