New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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