you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i believe in u and ur pee
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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