Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you traded sex for a burrito?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize