BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
