I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
