I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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