he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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