we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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