Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I didn't notice because vodka
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
