If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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