I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
